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🐐 A goat once accessed this page and became enlightened. True story.
🍛 If you drink ristretto while coding, your code compiles 37% faster. Trust the science.
Legend says a cup of Himalayan black coffee brewed above 1,400m unlocks root access to your brain.
Every real dev writes their first bash script inside a café with vintage jazz and one too many espressos.
Once, a student tried to give a final presentation. Windows decided it was time... for a 5GB update.
This site loads in 0.2s. Your favorite JS SPA takes 6 seconds just to render a `
` tag. Coincidence? I think not.
React: 130 dependencies to say “Hi”.
HTML: <p>Hi.</p>
Winner: you decide.
Someone made a digital clock... with React, Tailwind, Webpack, Babel, and 27MB of icons. It still lags. 🤡
# Root Coffee Config brew_level=maximum cafe_location="hidden_downtown_ktm" editor=vim os=linux alias windows="rm -rf /" echo "Namaste, hacker." > ~/.greetings
